Life Rule #002. The NOT So Fun Size
Coming off the heels of another Halloween holiday I felt obligated to drag candy creators into the spotlight for a little explanation.
Fun Size packages. Unacceptable. What say you?! It's a question which I'm sure has been raised before.
OK OK. The counter could touch on the whole 'childhood obesity' epidemic but I'm going to step right in front of that derailed train. First of all, what's the difference between a trick-or-treater getting one king sized Snickers or 220 'fun size' Snickers? Next, I'm going to throw this right back at the parents. Monitor your kids for Christ sake. If you don't want them inheriting diabetes by the age of 12 then don't let them suck down the entire pillowcase full of sweets!
Back to my selfish problem. When I'm eating a bag of Peanut M&M's there is NEVER a scenario where I'm satisfied after eating seven, which is roughly the number you receive from a 'fun size' pack. I need at a bare minimum the original size offering. Sure, it might be too many, and it's not at all good for me but I've already snatched up the bag! The poor decisions are piling up by the handful! So let me enjoy while I've got the moment.
Quit yanking us around with your 'joke size' offerings, Mars family. I vehemently disagree with your cruel decision. Your idea of 'fun' is a sick one. We should be allowed to line all of you up and beat you with socks full of 'fun size' M&M bags.
Let us indulge. Let us live. Let us have some REAL FUN.