Life Rule #025. A Wrapping Wonderland
In the spirit of arguably the most festive holiday of the year let's quickly discuss presents and how to properly wrap your presents. How fast? Faster than it might take Old Kris Kringle to plummet down your chimney, yank out his sack, spread his cheer all over your living room and then fire right back up that chimney. Faster than it takes Frosty to melt his jolly ass away. So grab that button nose and two eyes made out of coal....We're talking sleigh speed, people.
Now here's the gist. Forget wrapping paper. Unless you've practiced for years and you're tried and tested, ditch the wrap jobs. There's something much more magical out there. It's been rumored that elves created these protectors of presents years ago.
Only back when the world population began spiking did the poor folks employed by the North Pole swiftly find themselves behind the 8 reindeer. Gift orders were piling up and staff was taking more abuse than a stripper under the mistletoe.
Claus was at his wit's end. For years everyone had been enjoying all of the success after he had decided to move Rudolf into the lead reindeer role. Yet now, even with that red-nosed little bastard's speed, everyone was behind. It got so bad at one point that Santa (unbeknownst to the Mrs.) was sneaking off to Cindy Lou Who's apartment for a proper candy cane polishing.
Enter the gift bag. HO....HO....HOLY SHIT. Game changer. So much so that Rudolf's back to getting teased and poor Ms. Lou Who has had to once again resort to fingering the Grinch's stink, stank, stunk hole.
So save yourself. Drop all of your Christmas presents into bags. Sprinkle a little colorful tissue paper on top and you'll have folks asking to sit on your lap all Christmas long.
Christmas gift bags.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!!!!