"Excuses are the nails that build the house failure."

Paul Bunyan's Beard

Life Rule #505  Cut it Out

Life Rule #505 Cut it Out

A man's haircut should NEVER exceed $15.  If you're a man, you know that any total for a haircut which doesn't start with a 1 or a 0 is absolutely preposterous.  If you happen to crest that $15-20 mark and actually call yourself a man then please stop immediately.  From here on out just call yourself an impostor, for you are no man.

If your haircut costs are that high I'd wager a bet that perhaps you're dabbling in the underwear modeling business.  And if that's not the case perhaps you're a douche who's too old for the 'bar scene' yet still hunkers down in the trenches and thinks he can get some ass.

Now I'm not suggesting you go to the extremes of Ron Swanson (high n' tight, buzz cut, crew cut), although any advice that that beauty of a man gives should be regarded with the highest level of respect.  After all, he does provide stellar direction for you to follow whilst addressing the compass of men.  Just pocket the extra coin you SHOULDN'T spend with the barber and reward yourself with a few beers after the simple clean up.

You are kidding no one, pal.  You're a clown uni-cycling in the circus.  Except Bozo might actually have a much more stellar trim at a much lower cost.  Shit, he probably got a cut from the bearded lady for absolutely zilch.  All while he was juggling coconuts or tying off a few balloon animals.

Don't make balloon animals.  Don't disrespect the wisdom of Ron Swanson and do not pay astronomical costs for a haircut.  

 

 

Jonathan Tyler

New Tunes Nestled in a New Playlist

New Tunes Nestled in a New Playlist

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