Come See What's Fresh Today....And Maybe Only Today.
Oh, Red Lobster. You dirty seafood chain of mediocrity. Truly your menu is nothing short of heaping pile after heaping pile of starfish shit. Yet, behold a small surprise! A fluffy, filling basket of hope greets you as you sit among the weathered and worn booths of a sad, old building that's been decorated to look like a ship.
S.O.S. This ship is sinking....
Alas, Red Lobster's tentacles manage to cling to the chain restaurant life with the strength of a fish out of water.
Irony embraces the flailing seafood shop in her loving arms. What saves the RL? You know the answer. It lies snugly in a tiny bottomless wicker basket.
Yes....the God damn cheddar biscuit. What a creation. So good that I've honestly gone to a RL and eaten ONLY the biscuits. Hell, they're endless and irresistible.
They recently opted to sell the recipe in boxes at your local grocer which I find to be a HUGE mistake. Like Coca-Cola, Red Lobster should have vaulted that secret recipe and ridden out its days based solely on the profit of the cheddar biscuit. Freshwater fools!
Regardless, take one of your 365 days in the year and dock your vessel at the local Red Lobster. Don't order a thing other than the biscuits. There's no need. You know it. Red Lobster knows it. And the crustaceans in those tanks littered throughout the restaurant know it.
Red Lobster....The only seafood joint with the best biscuits in town.