"Excuses are the nails that build the house failure."

Paul Bunyan's Beard

Life Rule #056.  The Handshake

Life Rule #056. The Handshake

Unfortunately, in this day and age, we've received a front row seat to the gradual demise of communication.  What once were common practice manners have fallen by the wayside to an army of acronyms, exploding fist bumps, and less-than-poor grammar.  

No one WRITES any longer.  Technology has stripped us of the ability to form a coherent sentence.  Not only have text messages and email surged forward to become the leading form of communication but we're quickly losing our grip (pun very much intended) on the timeless art of the handshake.  The introduction to all introductions.  That initial bond.

You all recall the gesture, yes?  When one man strode up to another, extended his arm, looked you square in the eyes and took your hand with a determination to create a lasting impression.  Much like cattle being branded your handshake left a mark on its recipient whether good or bad.

Another man's handshake spoke volumes, could move mountains, or could dry up the sea.  And there is no shame in judging another by his handshake for it was from this method that we could reasonably gauge the character of an individual.

For instance, when your fellow man comes in with a dead fish?  Weak.  Introverted.  A coward.  There can be no excuse for a limp and lifeless hand unless said hand is wrapped up in a cast, a bandage or a damn oven mitt.  And if the man is wearing an oven mitt then what in the hell is wrong with you?!  He's clearly in the midst of a cooking session and you're throwing a wrench in the procedure.

Now on the other hand (not so much of an intended pun) man #2 strolls up with the body language of an Army drill sergeant, locks eyes, and as soon as his hand takes yours you immediately feel the power.  At that moment you swear you can physically see confidence oozing from the man's pores.  He knows who he is, what he wants, and how to cross life's finish line.

Today?  What do we have literally exploding all over the place?  The dreaded fist bump.  What in the hell is this malarkey?  When watching this act from a distance it looks like a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors gone horribly awry.  Do not be fooled gentlemen for this is no proper action for establishing a bond.  Do not go through life posing as Howie Mendel.  Go on, watch that short clip for me.  Come on Howie, you cannot be serious.  I'll grant you the fact that mental illness does exist however the real illness here is that you have found a way to deprive your fellow man of the handshake.  Shame on you.  You can take that fist you were throwing my way and bump your own raisin hole.  

We must keep the handshake relevant and off of the endangered species list of communication!  Be proud.  Be strong.  Allow that handshake to be an extension of the man you know you have or want to become.  

I pray you keep the art alive and if I find out that you have well then I look forward to the day I can shake that hand....brother.



The Record Company

The Record Company

DMV.  The Department of Despair.

DMV. The Department of Despair.