"Excuses are the nails that build the house failure."

Paul Bunyan's Beard

Will the Price Ever Be Right Again??

Will the Price Ever Be Right Again??

The Price Is Right.  The game show of all game shows.  Bob Barker, the host with the most.  The Price Is Right was synonymous with sick days and Mom's homemade chicken noodle soup.  They say all good things must come to an end and unfortunately Bob Barker's run as host was not immune to this statement.  They also say that the show must go on, although did it really have to go on with Drew Carey?!  As I grew up and substituted schooling for a steady job I found myself yearning more and more often for one of those classic sick days.  Forget the job today, I just want to curl up on the couch in my finest sweatpants with a bowl of piping hot soup and rip through a few episodes of The Price.  Alas, no longer can I fulfill this fantasy.

Today we're subjected to Drew Carey as the host which means I'm only calling in sick to physically throw up over that injustice.  And as I was enduring one of my mourning's for the loss of a once great show, I was hit hard with a panic attack.  If one of our favorite shows fell to such a grisly fate who's to say there aren't others waiting in line to step up to the chop block?!  In particular, another gem of a game show, JEOPARDY!  Alex 'Can-A-Suit-Ever-Be-Worn-Better' Trebec.  The most POTENT OF POTABLES.  Keeping that nightmare of a thought in mind let's take the "Drew Carey" formula (had his own TV show, hosted a semi-worthwhile game show, somehow weaseled his way into the crown jewel of game shows) and apply it to a few front runners for hosting considerations of 'The Jep'.

Mike O'Malley  I'm sure more than a few of you ass ticklers know Mike from his role on the 'hit' show Glee.  Shit, maybe you even remember Yes, Dear.  Those of us TRUE fans remember his glory days as the host of the TV show GUTS.  If you hosted a show with that high a caliber you're immediately considered for the Jeopardy! hosting gig.  Ken Jennings?!  Please.  Meet the Agro Crag and then go change your drawers you pussy.  Mike gets his shot based on GUTS alone....See what we did there?

Howie Mandel  I know, I know.  Two challengers so far and both are bald as an Easter egg.  This is a HUGE mark against both Mark and Howie.  Alex is still a sly Silver Fox showing no signs of losing that look.  If this were basketball Howie Mandel would be a sixteen seed.  Like Trebec, he's a Canadian, which I suppose would give him a slight edge.  Other than that he's hosted 'Deal or No Deal' which as a HUGE pile of garbage.  He created and starred in the show Bobby's World and really the only positive experience that came out of that show was the INTRO.  Why Howie gets to pop up at the end of the theme song of a kids' cartoon show I'll have no idea.  Moving on.

Steve Harvey  HAHAHAHA!!!!  Just kidding.  Although we might accept a nomination from JUST that God damn mustache because it's beautiful.





Wayne Brady  Another 'Who's Line Is It Anyway?' alum.  Another shitty game show.  'Let's Make a Deal'.  Here's a rule of thumb, don't put any merit into a game show with the word 'deal' in the title.  It's going to be a train wreck.  Wayne is a likable enough but the gimmick is old.  We got it pal.  You can sing and be funny for people with no sense of humor.  Jeopardy! doesn't include much music unless they have Wayne sing the theme to Final Jeopardy.  I'd prefer he didn't do that.  If Wayne could dust off the role he played on Chappelle's Show and bring that attitude to the table then perhaps we he has a chance.  IS WAYNE BRADY GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?

I could expand on this list however I was really hoping to make a simple point.  We're in trouble here, friends.  What happens when Alex Trebec decides to hang up the suit?  Do we just pull the plug on Jeopardy!?  I'm not so sure I can stomach another Drew Carey fiasco.  

What is, the disastrous ending to an epic game show Alex?

The Rolling Stones

The Rolling Stones

Life Rule #400.  Please....'Handle' With Care

Life Rule #400. Please....'Handle' With Care