"Excuses are the nails that build the house failure."

Paul Bunyan's Beard

The Lunch Box

The Lunch Box

"Ugh.  Is it time already?"  You think to yourself as your mother strides into the room one last time to wake you for school, except this time around she's holstering a squirt bottle chock full of agua, and she'll use that shit.  She's done it before.

Up and at 'em!

God Almighty the school morning ritual was brutal.  Cereal, shower, dress, find out if the dog ate your solar system project, and out the door you went.  Oh but wait!  Are we not forgetting one key element to your daily routine?  You bet your scholarly ass we are.

Your backpack feels awfully light today does it not?  You might want to run a quick interior scan to make sure all is right with the world.  

Trapper Keeper?  Check.  Last night's completed homework?  Check.  The eloquently written note to your future girlfriend (you pray)?  Check.  Your lunchbox....your food?  NOOOO!  Back inside you rush.  How is one expected to survive the rigors of an entire school day without proper sustenance?  Right next to recess, lunch is the greatest hour of your day.  How could you be so sloppy?  

After a mad dash to the kitchen your worst fears are confirmed for there, on the counter, lies your little treasure chest of goodies.  You cautiously approach the tin with the stealth of Indian Jones.  Will the objects inside fulfill your culinary dreams?  Let's find out.

You close your eyes and open the lid.  "Please Mom.  By the good graces of Little Debbie I hope you have a few treats hidden away in here."  Classic.  Resting neatly in your container are the essentials....PB & J, apple or banana, chips or pretzels, carrots, string cheese....wait....what is missing in this equation?!  Where is the dessert?!  Cookies?  Brownie?  You're not emotionally prepared to wheel and deal your fruit in the cafeteria today.  Now you're just about to earn a week's worth of grounding by screaming 'AH HORSESHIT!' when something under the sandwich catches your eye.  Could it be?  Now or never, son.  You take a deep breath, lift the sandwich, and feel a diabetic rush wash over you.

There it is!  Your package of Nutty Bars!  YES!!  Mom, you are the light of my life!!!!  Now snap that puppy shut and get moving before you miss the bus.

Get in the time machine.  Let's head back to the present.

We all have a feeling that we're missing something in life, don't we?  I believe most of those feelings are simple, like the lunchbox.  Much like school, we despise waking up in the morning to head to work.  Why not make the morning preparations worth your while?  Get out there, do some research, and track down one of those He-Man lunchboxes you used to sport when you were 10.  Why not?  You'll be the talk of the break room!  A much better alternative to everyone talking about who the office slut slept with again.

Now if you have trouble scrounging up a lunch pale, fear not!  I think we're going to start making some for the Axe.  You heard right folks.  Lunchboxes are coming back and you'll be lining up to snatch one.  

In the meantime, make your lunchtime the BEST time of your day again.  Harness that magic of yore.  Cherish your food and pack it away into the temple where it belongs.

Lunchboxes.  Briefcases for your food.

 

The Wood Brothers

The Wood Brothers

The New Mastersounds

The New Mastersounds

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