"Excuses are the nails that build the house failure."

Paul Bunyan's Beard

Life Rule #1001.  Weather Alert!

Life Rule #1001. Weather Alert!

If you find yourself having a discussion with another human being and you feel that they're steering the conversation toward the weather then you have a few options:

  1. Tell them that you've already begun gathering up two of every animal on the planet in preparation of the apocalyptic hammer that's about to fall.
  2. Stab them in the chest with an umbrella.  Both the irony of the situation and immediate medical emergency will give them something else to talk about.  

Either way you're off the hook of having to sit through their audition for becoming the next local meteorologist.  Now you just have to answer a few questions for the police.

We're the Flannel Axe and that'll do it for our weather alert!  Back to you anchorman with a goofy tie and shitty haircut!  

Life Rule #400.  Parking Violation

Life Rule #400. Parking Violation

PTO.  Take the time off!

PTO. Take the time off!