"Excuses are the nails that build the house failure."

Paul Bunyan's Beard

Too Many Cooks In the Kitchen

Too Many Cooks In the Kitchen

They say that the kitchen is the focal point of the home.  Well, someone must have said it at one point or another, yes?  I mean, seemingly everyone congregates to that sacred room, do they not?  There's food and beverage aplenty!  It's a temple and really the only thing missing are a handful of folks cloaked in provocative clothing methodically waving palm branches as you all scarf down bowls of fruit.

It is here that we finally find some common ground between the realities of life and the fantasies of the movies.  The kitchen.  It's takes center stage in both worlds.  Permit me to explain please....

Think about any movie you've ever seen with a foot chase scene.  Ah, do you feel those neurons firing yet?  Now that the chase is on picture it in your mind.  Follow the fugitive as they weave their through any obstacle they encounter and then observe our hero as he pursues with the determination of a hound dog; the scent of blood in his nostrils.  Getting warmer?  Allow me to assist.

The chase is exhilarating.  The path of flight chock full of abandon alleys, weathered rooftops strewn with lazy pigeons, startled passersby who may or may not get knocked down, rusty fire escapes, and I feel as though I'm missing a key element....OH YEA....

THE KITCHEN.

When have you seen a chase take place that did NOT involve a kitchen?  It's always the sloppiest leg of the runaway race, too, isn't it?  The assailant could have been ninja-flipping from building to building and tightrope walking window ledges with ease but when it comes down to the kitchen it's pure chaos.  They usually come barreling in sliding across the floor, knocking all sorts of appliances around the room while food's flying.  People are yelling from every direction in roughly 3-4 different languages.  Inevitably there will be one extremely disgruntled gentleman in the bunch who shows his disgust by whipping a dirty rag against the counter.  He doesn't seem to mind having been an appetizer away from getting murdered.  Someone just destroyed his goddamn entree.

Hell, even dinosaurs are getting in on the action

So what's the appeal?  Why does Hollywood feel the need to incorporate the kitchen in most of their chase scenes?  I think there's a much larger issue at hand which we must address.  Consider this a warning.  Perhaps a call to arms to all cooks, chefs, or anyone employed by the food service industry.

Be ready.  Stay on your toes.  Stay at your station.  You never know when those battered double doors might burst open with one hot foot race hauling through.  Don't get caught up in the hoopla.  Don't burn your entree and whatever you do, don't go throwing rags around.

Chase scenes.  A kitchen's nightmare.

Tuesday Toss UP IV

Tuesday Toss UP IV

Wild Cub

Wild Cub

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