"Excuses are the nails that build the house failure."

Paul Bunyan's Beard

Life Rule #005.  The Robe & the Walk-Off.

Life Rule #005. The Robe & the Walk-Off.

Sure, it feels like it might be a thing of the past.  A relic from a time long ago where leisure and comfort ruled the land.  Now I'm not sure about any of you but I can recall the days when my folks and their folks utilized the robe.  Shit, I think they still do.  Not that I want to ever see that again.

Yet alas, the fashion trends are just that....trends.  To some it may appear that the robe's time on earth has come and gone.  Along came the sweats, the undershirts and the boxers.  The extinction of the poor robe was swift and merciless.  But can we not revive the beast and watch it rise from the ashes like a phoenix hell bent on providing your most intimate parts with the gentle touch of terry cloth?!  I SAY YES.

Here, allow me to nudge you in the right direction.  Head on over to Jockey.  This wizard's robe is only $25!  Trust me here, I own one.  Bring the full body experience back into the lime light.  Oh, and SCREW the Snuggie.  Those things are made entirely out of horseshit.

Once you've got your robe (I know you'll make the right decision), pick a nice crisp fall morning to slip that beauty on.  You know, the kind of morning that smells like an apple orchard and you can see your breath floating across the sky.  Walk your ass right on down your driveway to pick up yesterday's mail or this morning's paper.  Don't have a home or a driveway?  Don't fret.  SOMEONE near you has a driveway.  Go use it.  I promise you that no one person in their right mind will approach a stranger walking up and down their driveway in a robe.  

So go on, pamper yourself.  Robe up folks!

(and yes, I chose the article image because what in the shit is the guy in the background up to?!)

 

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