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Laughable Lyrics:  The Seventh Installment

Laughable Lyrics: The Seventh Installment

Merry Friday All! For the seventh installment of our Laughable Lyrics segments, we’re going Tubthumpin’….whatever in the shit that means. I’m not entirely sure this article needs to continue with a song titled “Tubthumper”. After doing some very basic searching of the internet, I was able to unearth an explanation that would make some sense given the song’s lyrical context. Actually, scratch that discovery. I’m finding definitions ranging from an Irishman revolting against England, a drink comprised of a shot of whiskey, a shot of vodka, a shot of lager, and a hard cider (which having said that, reveals 75% of the song’s foundation), a noisy , violent , or ranting public speaker (this song is definitely noisy), a vociferous supporter (of terrible music?), and lastly, my own definition. A tub-thumper is someone incapable of any realistic musical talent. Steaming garbage. Let’s dig through the dumpster fire that is Chumbawamba.

Don’t go holding your breath folks. The depth this little 90’s gem displays is shallower than a kiddie pool in a trailer park. Below is the ENTIRETY of the song:

I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down
I get knocked down, but I get up again
You are never gonna keep me down

He drinks a Whiskey drink, he drinks a Vodka drink
He drinks a Lager drink, he drinks a Cider drink
He sings the songs that remind him of the good times
He sings the songs that remind him of the best times
(Oh Danny Boy, Danny Boy, Danny Boy)

Over, and over, and over, and over, and over AGAIN. What’s ironic is the band who “wrote”, or rather vomited, up this song, Chumbawamba, broke up in 2012. So even THEY can’t adhere to their own battle cry, for they were knocked down yet never got up again. Not upset about that realization in the slightest.

And if the clown in this song is singing songs that remind him of the better times, THIS particular song better not be one of them. Holy Hell. How this shit stain gained popularity is well beyond my mind’s capacity for reason. What they DID deserve they received; they won the fucking Hungarian Music Awards Album of the Year. I’ll tell ya what I’m hungry for….thumpin’ tubs. Let’s go out and do some vicious tub-thumpin!

Care for me to blow your mind even further? Before their split in 2012, Chumbawamba had been together for roughly 30 years! I thought I was reading a joke you’d find on the inside of a Bazooka Joe gum wrapper when I’d found that out. 30 years and all you’re ever going to be known for is the song “Tubthumper”. That’s simply stunning.

Allow me the opportunity to stun you even more. The origin of that horrific band name? Legend has it that one of the original band members had a dream in which the male and female stalls were labeled Chumba and Wamba, instead of the much more widely accepted ‘men’ and ‘women’. Well shit. You can knock me down, but I’ll get up again.

And I think that’s where we going to leave it folks. Thumpin’ tubs and renaming washrooms. Enjoy your weekend.

SPOILER ALERT!  There Are No Spoilers.

SPOILER ALERT! There Are No Spoilers.

Life Rule #3393:  Take a Hike....Or a Walk

Life Rule #3393: Take a Hike....Or a Walk

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